Fresh. New. Start.
I believe it was not for no reason that my first ever (grandest-so-far) medical procedure on the day of my birthday. Since the start of it all, all signs have been pointing towards it. Everything went smoothly as in following a step-by-step procedure. I went through symptoms, diagnosis, medications, tests, re-tests, check-ups and finally, septoplasty and FESS (Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery).
Finally deciding on the surgery was kind of weird for the following reasons: (1) I did not feel sick (except when the first bout of symptoms occurred); (2) I am not a medical fanatic (meaning I do not normally check with doctors when i am sick, i do not take medicine, in any form, to cure any illness - i go for water therapy); (3) i have not been sickly (and so the diagnosis that i have chronic sinusitis seemed inconclusive, at first, that is). Even my bestfriend found it hard to believe that she has accompanied me to the hospital when I admitted myself in. Whew!
The past two-three weeks have been filled with too much thinking, quick decision-making, extensive discussions with my doctor and in-depth research into the matter - pros and cons, preparations, aftermath, expectations and the like. Highs and lows included hiding truthful information from loved ones, dealing with separation anxieties from work and daily life, bouts of insomnia both due to the steroids i was required to take and the endless whys and hows and what ifs related to the big event.
Preparation was hurdle enough. To survive, I led myself to believe that things are meant to happen as they are, and there's nothing else I can do except to get excited that I am somehow participating in a scientific exploit - adding to it the adventure of being the recipient of one of science's greatest wonder. So I calmed myself down, gave in to the flow, got excited, and readied myself for the big show. And so it happened...
The last thing I remembered was the anesthesiologist's dreamy voice bidding me goodnight. The next time I opened my eyes was when I was awakened from a dream, seemingly lost and confused. Recovering from anesthesia was the most painful part. I hated the dreamy feeling, the heaviness in my eyes and the nauseous twirl every time i attempt to move. I prayed. I knew then that I have been through the hardest. I just have to get back to life. And so I did.
Now, three days after, I am trying to get back to normal. I am not bruised and blue, thanks to the advances in medical science. I still have some remnant swelling in the face, nose is still congested though bleeding has gone minimal (thanks, God!), ear is plagued with fvooing sound and I am afraid that i might have lost my sense of smell...but as it is, i'm just on my third day so I am waiting...hoping that i would be better than normal at the end of the recovery period.
Today, I tried going back in tune...
I went to mass (through TV though),
I took a bath (welcomed the cold, refreshing water),
I watched TV (as normal as Sunday viewing can get),
I played plants versus zombies (attempting a closer-to-normal-lifestyle),
I ate junkfood (food has been almost tasteless these days),
I wrote a journal entry (this is a proof),
I read through my wall messages (in an attempt to get back to the birthday that was missed),
I communicated with friends,
I slept (so much for resting, my body cannot resist it),
I lived (one day more).
As today ends, I thank the Lord for all the love and care I have been pampered with in the recent past. I believe I am one lucky being, not because I deserve being one, but because He decided that I am one.
(signing off...to a fresh new start!)
I believe it was not for no reason that my first ever (grandest-so-far) medical procedure on the day of my birthday. Since the start of it all, all signs have been pointing towards it. Everything went smoothly as in following a step-by-step procedure. I went through symptoms, diagnosis, medications, tests, re-tests, check-ups and finally, septoplasty and FESS (Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery).
Finally deciding on the surgery was kind of weird for the following reasons: (1) I did not feel sick (except when the first bout of symptoms occurred); (2) I am not a medical fanatic (meaning I do not normally check with doctors when i am sick, i do not take medicine, in any form, to cure any illness - i go for water therapy); (3) i have not been sickly (and so the diagnosis that i have chronic sinusitis seemed inconclusive, at first, that is). Even my bestfriend found it hard to believe that she has accompanied me to the hospital when I admitted myself in. Whew!
The past two-three weeks have been filled with too much thinking, quick decision-making, extensive discussions with my doctor and in-depth research into the matter - pros and cons, preparations, aftermath, expectations and the like. Highs and lows included hiding truthful information from loved ones, dealing with separation anxieties from work and daily life, bouts of insomnia both due to the steroids i was required to take and the endless whys and hows and what ifs related to the big event.
Preparation was hurdle enough. To survive, I led myself to believe that things are meant to happen as they are, and there's nothing else I can do except to get excited that I am somehow participating in a scientific exploit - adding to it the adventure of being the recipient of one of science's greatest wonder. So I calmed myself down, gave in to the flow, got excited, and readied myself for the big show. And so it happened...
The last thing I remembered was the anesthesiologist's dreamy voice bidding me goodnight. The next time I opened my eyes was when I was awakened from a dream, seemingly lost and confused. Recovering from anesthesia was the most painful part. I hated the dreamy feeling, the heaviness in my eyes and the nauseous twirl every time i attempt to move. I prayed. I knew then that I have been through the hardest. I just have to get back to life. And so I did.
Now, three days after, I am trying to get back to normal. I am not bruised and blue, thanks to the advances in medical science. I still have some remnant swelling in the face, nose is still congested though bleeding has gone minimal (thanks, God!), ear is plagued with fvooing sound and I am afraid that i might have lost my sense of smell...but as it is, i'm just on my third day so I am waiting...hoping that i would be better than normal at the end of the recovery period.
Today, I tried going back in tune...
I went to mass (through TV though),
I took a bath (welcomed the cold, refreshing water),
I watched TV (as normal as Sunday viewing can get),
I played plants versus zombies (attempting a closer-to-normal-lifestyle),
I ate junkfood (food has been almost tasteless these days),
I wrote a journal entry (this is a proof),
I read through my wall messages (in an attempt to get back to the birthday that was missed),
I communicated with friends,
I slept (so much for resting, my body cannot resist it),
I lived (one day more).
As today ends, I thank the Lord for all the love and care I have been pampered with in the recent past. I believe I am one lucky being, not because I deserve being one, but because He decided that I am one.
(signing off...to a fresh new start!)
