IDEAS ROLLING IN THE DEEP

I badly need a mind reader that is capable of recording thoughts and words by simple contact, or transmission through "brain" signals, one that would come in as handy as an iPhone. 

I passed on many chances for immortalizing stories and conversations simply because I was not equipped enough with tools needed to record them for sharing, or safe-keeping. Most of the time, my memory does not serve me right, or does not serve me at all, so I am not able to keep track of all those beautiful ideas springing from tête-à-têtes.

Pauses for reflection aide me in keeping my sanity. I am not a very expressive (also not-so-outgoing) individual but I love thoughts and ideas. I can keep up with reading and could spend the same (sometimes even longer) amount of time  just staring blankly at a wall  allowing my mind to wander and explore various contemplation points. I guess, even when I am asleep, those thoughts keep rolling, tumbling down the deepest convolutions of my brain.

The problem with loving the intangible is that they are not for keeps. Maybe not for me. Even if I can successfully detect those signals (aka information, data, etc. interfering constructively with my brain waves), I can only retain a little percentage of them. After grazing my thought-center, they readily fly away. I consider myself lucky enough if I am able to associate those ideas with concrete, physical reminders - makes it easier to recall, reminisce, or review the concepts resulting to more questions leading to either higher entertainment value or more confrontational analysis.

Have you ever sat down with someone and spent hours just talking about your faith? Have you ever been asked why God did not endow humans with the ability to read minds? Have you ever prompted to weigh your options between becoming an expert or a jack-of-all-trades? Have you ever exchanged text messages just to try to figure out what makes life so unfair, and whether you are a perfectionist or not? Have you ever stood so statue-like that you appeared peaceful and calm on the outside but full of turmoil in the inside because of conflicting views?

Overthinking? Symptoms of lunacy? I don't think so. (please agree, or else I am doomed haha!) I find these quite challenging to deal with but I welcome opportunities like them with open arms. I find these not only amusingly meaningful (who wouldn't?) but self-assuring also. Sometimes, it is when you are confronted with the out-of-ordinary questions that you get to know yourself better.

Conversations with God when thoughts are most honest, and expressions are most spontaneous. Out-of-the-blue, thought-provoking, sometimes self-incriminating* question-and-answer sessions. Clever and creative theories which eventually become inspiration for inventions. Philosophical one- or two-liners which make one exclaim "aha!"** Dialogues with someone which help build your own beliefs in life. These are only a few of those that I want to keep in mind, in categorized boxes, if possible. I would like to be able to retrieve them instantly as well.

So please, if you know where to get one of the above, much-wanted gadget, please pm me. I did a research and this is the closest to it that I have found: An Australian invention that turns your thoughts into words. There is also a mind-reading helmet which enables you to direct your bike through brain signals. A friend shared yet another invention I found really amazing. It is Google's New Glasses.

(c) Google

There. Let us wait for these gadgets to touch home base, and let see if those mind-boggling ideas could still roll in the deep. ;-)

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*tough questions need tough answers = getting your innermost thoughts out in the open
**AHA = Ahh, I see. Hmm, I agree. Aye, you're good! Genius!

MY ONLY HOPE

Almost a year ago, we bade farewell. But it seems that a year hasn't passed at all. I still remember you. Though I may not be able to instantly recall details of the moments we shared, rest assured that they are deep within my system. So here is to commemorate your first year away from what you considered second home, to celebrate  your successful freshman year, and to somehow lead you back to where we first, and last, met and greeted each other. Vous me manquez, Hope!

(The following is an excerpt of a story I told those who wanted to know how it had been with you. I have not been able to give the speech before we parted ways . I hope this somehow makes up for it. ;-)

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Which class is...?

Loud. Rowdy. Generally late in submitting requirements. Insolent (1). Audacious. Unsympathetic. Defiant. Very Challenging.

Yes. If you have met them in person, even for once in your life, those clues are more than enough for you to make a very good guess. You might be ecstatic if you will be able to guess it right. But I will be sad. Being able to correctly identify the class using those clues only means that they are very effective in making themselves famous...though not in a good way.

HOPE.

Heaven On Planet Earth. (2)

Again...Again...

HOPE.

Help. Oh Please Explain...(3)

Perhaps my greatest achievement as a mother duck for the school year was living and dealing with once-tagged (almost) hopeless Hope, and successfully staying alive and kicking up until graduation time.

I have never been as busy as a bee in my entire advising experience. My ten-minute homeroom period meetings with them were not sufficient - it was like each one in the class needed one-on-one interaction! Even teachers individually met with me for class concerns (you know, the usual noise, non-submission, non-compliance, aggression, non-performance, lacking or wrong uniform, etc.) Though most of them were easy to deal with, some put me to the test. Though they were fun to be with, their liveliness sometimes ate me alive (I was just lucky to have been resurrected every time).



photo from B119

But maybe Hope and I were meant to be together. Maybe Hope happened so that my experience will be made more complete. Their notoriety made the task more challenging. But do not get me wrong. They were not monsters or anything like that. They were Tin Men with hearts (4).

Together, we achieved many good things. We participated in school activities such as the school Fair and the Charity Fair. The class had the highest number of volunteers for the Immersion activity with SASS (although not all were allowed to go) -- the seemingly irresponsible, undependable students interacted well with, and willingly did the household chores for, their "foster families" (even trying all their might not to shout out loud with an ipis (5) in sight). Walang arte. Just pure intention to learn coupled with energy and effort to help. Oh, it was such a beauty to behold...a revelation, a realization that made me smile all the more. I was bursting with pride!

Hope made me laugh. But they made me ache, too! There were times when I felt like a failure for having the least amount of donations for the 12 Days of Christmas Project, for having the least number of attendees to the 75th Foundation Eucharistic Celebration, for receiving a number of SBF's and AFUF's and just one C4 Seal...but somewhere along the road, someone told me, Have a Little Faith (6)...the book's last line was..."I am in love with HOPE."

Sr. Irene (do you still remember her?) once related that priests are there to take care of their ministry, like how God takes care of His people. She said that perhaps, Hope is a ministry. I remember responding: "I think their priest wants to go on leave." But I remained. Hope and I labored together. Hope and I failed together. Hope and I experienced things together. Hope and I made memories together.

Now, I only have gratitude for the year that was - happy and proud that all of Hope graduated without a hassle (no one for removal examinations, yey!) and all of them with a college to go to. Perhaps it was just a matter of time, and of getting to know them better that ended the year well. They may have been all that was described up (^) there. But there is more to them than what meets the eye and ears. The Tin Men are lovable (with all their varied and various qualities) and loving beings. Call it tough, but I never really expected to have such affection for them. For me, it the greatest love.....err....achievement of all!

(c) M.O. 2011

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(1) One Friday afternoon, in the library, where some of the Hopefuls and I were huddled in one table...
      English Teacher: *mad*shouting* "Ms. Tan, your class is so insolent!"
      Me: *puzzled*frozen*distressed* "Sorry, Ms."
      Audience (library-goers): *shocked*

(2) Adopted from the class of Hope Batch 2004

(3) Thought bubble: "Why was I assigned to this class again? Hmmm, let's see..." 

(4) Tin Men = Tin's Men? Haha! Hello president TinYu!  :D

(5) cockroach; ipis just sounds better

(6) Have A Little Faith is a novel by Mitch Albom. Nice read!