CONVOLUTION

Ebbs like a wave

Up, down, up, down

Inspired and discouraged

Cry, laugh, fight, give up

Sleep to rest

Sleep to forget

Wake up spent

Wake up brand new

Take some more

Hope for less

Score lower

Aim higher

Be known

Stay common

Do the best

Leave (to mem) the rest

Join in

Be alone

Dine light

Sleep tight

Goodbye, hello!

Hold on, let go

Keep memories

Start anew

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Convolution  
[ˌkɒnvəˈluːʃən]


a twisting together; a turn, twist or coil


an intricate, involved, or confused matter of condition


in life sciences, also called gyrus,
any of the numerous convex folds or ridges
of the surface of the brain

VSAT or VDSAT?

The rising sun is so beautiful for comfort. Though I would always prefer sunset over sunrise at any time, I cannot deny the obvious - el soleil this time radiates with soothing warmth and tolerable brightness. Nah, almost too good to be true...quite surreal...

Perhaps I am not just used to this sun-rising time. I used to wander the busy streets before the rays come shining down. For the past decades, I have eluded the solar-photons by compromising the number of hours I spend for snoozing. But things have changed. Though the duration of sleep has remained the same, I now meet the sun before even enjoying the relaxation offered by my bed...twisted...I work while the rest of the country (uhm, most of the rest ;) enjoy their dreams. 

Perhaps, it takes time getting used to this 180*-degree-turn of events. I must be pleased by how I am not a slave to traffic at this time (as traffic builds up only in the opposite direction); I must be reassured that I will be home safe and sound and secured from the evildoing/s of Mr. Scratchers** (as MD aka manong driver always reserves for me a seat in the car where I can doze off without a care to the world); I must be thankful for the egg-filled breakfast that I always get to enjoy after telepathically imploring my sister/dad to prepare; I must be relieved after a night's work...I must be calmed, but I am not at peace.

Perhaps, this obscurity is not because of the time, or due to the strange sunrise. My PR and HBR seem too normal to be true for the heart to be considered alive and kicking. Considerably, I have survived. But I am barely surviving. The heart must be dead by now after all the in-the-face denunciations and what-nots. The recent past has challenged me so much so that I cannot help thinking about what will happen in the immediate future. I can hardly rest my case.

What is happening? 

Something stirs deep inside, that which I could not understand...so help me, God.

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*I still believe 180 degrees is a better, if not the best, description for a life-changing turn than 360 degrees (which brings you right back to where you were before the turn)

**Mr. Scratchers is a name collectively describing evil men who almost made me reveal my superhero powers by forcibly acquiring my precious material properties.

BAGONG BUHAY

Mas payat na ako. Maluwag na ang dating masisikip na mga pantalon. Pero ayos lang kahit payat. Pangarap ko ito. Magagamit ko na uli ang santambak na mga damit mula nung kabataan ko pa. Di na kailangang bumili ng bago.

Mas marami na akong oras gumawa ng iba. Pero mas wala akong nagagawa. May life after work na din, pero ang night life ko ay umaga. Gising kasi ako sa oras ng tulog. Minsan pa, wala talagang tulog. Di kasi madaling matulog sa nakasanayang oras ng pagiging gising. Pero ayos lang, di pa naman ako bumabagsak sa antok.

Mas prominente na ang identifying mark ko. Di na maikakaila and panda look ko. Kung dati, walang tumatalo sa akin sa lawak ng eye shade, mas lalo na silang mahihirapan ngayon na daigin ako sa larangang ito. Pero ayos lang. Di naman ako masyadong conscious. Mukha namang "in" siya ngayon.

Mas maayos na ang buhok ko. Dahil nga may panahon na ako, wala na ang mga tikwas at unwanted curves. Sumusunod na siya sa galaw. Pero maayos nga ang buhok ko, mas magulo naman ang laman ng utak ko. Siguro ganyan lang talaga kapag bago...maraming bagay ang di alam na pilit inaalam na di naman agad nalalaman dahil iba-iba ang nag-papaalam. Pero ayos lang. Alam ko namang darating ang araw ng ganap na pagkatuto. Kailangan lang maging matiyaga habang naghihintay.


Mas konti na lang ang pinaghahandaan ko ngayon. Kung dati parang nasa pangangalaga ko ang mundo, ngayon, sarili ko lang ang kailangan kong bantayan. Nakakalungkot na unti-unti ko nang nakakalimutan ang mga dati kong kinasanayan. Pero ayos lang. Ganun ata talaga, kailangan pagbigyan ang bagong natututunan.

Mas marami na din akong kaibigan. Kahit bago, mapalad akong nakatagpo ng mga mababait at maalalahaning mga katuwang sa kabuhayan. Tila kasabay ng pamamaalam ng  "einstein look" (aka masyadong malayang buhok) ang paglisan ni Eins. Pinalitan na siya ni Anya. Iba na ang bukambibig. Iba na ang inaalala. Iba na ang ibinabahaging kaalaman. Bagong buhay, bagong pangalan, panibagong pakikibaka.


Kumusta na nga ba ako ngayon? AYOS LANG. :)


Tumatawa pa rin. Kumikita pa rin. Di pa naman napapagod. Nag-e-enjoy sa kakaibang karanasan. Patuloy na nagsisilbi, di nga lang pang-maramihan. Patuloy na nagsasanay sa bagong larangan. Patuloy na nagdarasal upang patnubayan ng Kanyang kapangyarihan. Patuloy na umaasang, kahit saan at ano pa man, mananatiling tapat sa layuning gumawa ng kabutihan.


Ikaw? Kumusta ka na?


Sana'y ayos lang din, kaibigan, :)