THE ME & ME COMPANY

This is a secret: sometimes I am glad when he is gone.
Sometimes I enjoy being alone. It is like flying.

Maybe I have been living alone in the past and is so used to it that just a year of constant company sometimes feels suffocating. No offense meant - everybody knows I will not be complete without the company. It is just that sometimes, I prefer to have just-me-myself-and-I moments.

I am not a loner. Most people I know would say I am cheerful and philosophical*, sometimes sarcastic (from what I heard) - and you cannot be any of these three if you are all by yourself! I love being part of a company. I love doing things together with my brood, or dining out with my barkada, or going places with team mates, or working together with colleagues, even joking around with my old folks. But togetherness could sometimes be exhausting. I am sure it is not only true for me. There always comes a need for recharging and it is best done when you are on your own.

I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

 
1. I go on lone field trips. Perhaps the most remarkable one (with literal marks) was the 8-hour, mostly-on-foot tour I did around Manila, riding through the three train lines. I visited the artworks on display at the Megamall galleries, then museums from Fort Santiago to Luneta to Ocean Park traversing through Roxas as the sun sets to the Science Centrum in MOA, culminating in a fireworks display. The guard on duty at the US Embassy almost took my camera because I paused and took a picture of the light displays on the surrounding trees. What a recharging experience! :D

BLEAK: The US Embassy Scandal :-)

  2. I grab a book and get immersed in its pages so deeply (and undisturbed-ly) it would seem like I have taken a vacation off to the book's characters' world. I enjoy each page as the events unfold. I am able to visit various places, experience different cultures, get to meet other people and learn new/old-have-existed-before-me stuff. The most challenging read for me came from these two:

Left: An adventure yet to be completed. This book is a modern, more insightful version of Alice in Wonderland.
Right: An aging adventure: those with memory gaps, beware! The Buendias can get to your nerves :D

3. I write. Emotions are transformed into legible figures and characters, sometimes, they become emoticons too specially when I am lost in the me-me world through my doodles. Writings also come in the form of answers to Sudoku and crossword puzzles, or solutions to Physics word problems.

4. I walk a thousand steps without any specific direction in mind. I roam around the mall, frequenting either the bookstore or the DIY shops. I stroll through parks where I can enjoy my invisibility power despite many people around. My most-treasured walking moments would be those along the shore culminated by a sunset. Oh, I miss the province! :-(

5. I play with my camera, with the zombies, with Lex, with the jewels, with playing cards. I play dead (how's that?) I play recorded shows and/or downloaded TV shows.

My favorite TV shows

I walk alone. I skip gatherings. I dine alone. I go to church and sit on a pew - just killing time. I dream of long trips, sometimes enjoying the heavy traffic on my way home. I take some days off to enjoy me-time. Sometimes, I get mad just so people will leave me behind haha! Crazy! When the world gets too noisy, and there is no way for me to get away, I spend my me-time inside the comfort room, my area of refuge. There I read through verses and just let time pass while being alone with Him. There were times when I chose to be alone so I could cry. Believe me, crying is therapeutic. It makes laughing out loud such an easy thing to do. I just do not LOL when alone, I might be mistaken as a lunatic. But I smile. And when I do, that means I am ready to be with fellow human beings again.

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside,
somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

BUT KEEP THIS in MIND:

If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company. :))
- Jean-Paul Sartre

*philosophical = state of "wayward" thinking, often expressed spontaneously making people either say haha while suppressing laughter, or just laughing out loud.