LIVING WITH MARTIANS

Introduction: Men are from Mars. But they are not aliens. They are just different. They are earthlings in thoughts, words and deeds.

I AM MY FATHER's DAUGHTER and MY BROTHER's SISTER

For more than a quarter of a century, my existence on this planet called Earth has been made more bearable by connections I made with the male species.

First and foremost, biologically speaking, I would not have thrived as a living being if not for my father. The small unit which I have been borne into would not be more complete without my brother. It was a fulfillment in Chinese families to have a son who will inherit and propagate not only the family's business and fame but also the family's name. (Not that we are a culturally-Chinese family and I am also not saying that we have any grand business and/or fame to live up with; though I believe every family would wish for a son for strong foundation's sake). Having close encounters with the men in the family has developed my adventurous side.

Though my mother's deemed more positively aggressive and dominant than my father, I have grown accustomed to guns and gears: I played more sword games and fistfights than with dolls and bahay-bahayan. Whenever I was forced to play bahay-bahayan, I would opt for the role of the ninja, or the guard, or the soldier. I remember crying more over transforming robots than talking dolls. When I started formal schooling, my mother used to hate my grumbling over cutesy bags and umbrellas - i always wanted a backpack and a raincoat so that I could run with my boy friends come rainy days.

One summertime, I practically disengaged parts of my father's bicycle in an attempt to fix a loose chain and I had my first electrocution experience when I tinkered with the flat iron with loose wiring. But both were accomplished missions though. The skills I gained from these and many other similar events helped a lot. Being the eldest child in the family with a father who was only present for at most twenty days a year due to work-related reasons and a brother who has remained a kid up until now, I have taken the role of the family mechanic, the walking screwdriver. I majored in Physics when I was in college, double majored with Technology which I enjoyed so much - I leaned more on circuitry and wiring, have tried welding, fixed airconditioning units, played with digital displays, among others.

Right now, I am proud to say that I am better than even my father in fixing circuits at home. (Please do not tell them - I can only claim so without them knowing hehe!). Sometimes they (my father and my brother) would give up with loose connections after much contemplation, disconnections and attempts to fix. I would usually just sneak out to check on the matter, and I would eventually find myself laughing out loud - sometimes, they just fail to check that it was the device which is not functional anymore and nothing's really faulty with the wirings. Ka-blam! But oh well, I do not mind. Sometimes, they'd reward me with a tap on the back, and that for me is more than enough recognition of my abilities ;-)

I AM MY PLAYMATES' BEST OPPONENT

I began living beyond the quarters of our home when I started playing with kids on the block. I was never naughty. I always played fair. But boys, I believe, are innately mischievous and often times, they cheat when they are about to lose, especially if it's a girl who's winning. Gad! I was strong but i could not help but cry sometimes when I all I could put up to defend myself were words for war. Sometimes I get provoked, but I never tried to hit my playmates (though I know boys deserved hitting sometimes, in addition to their mother's spanking). But I do not let any unkind act on me pass without justice. Don't get me wrong, I don't cheat back. I make sure that my next win leaves my opponents' poor as possible. I would take home rubber bands, texs (playing cards), marbles, even homemade guns and ammos. I guess i have also taken advantage of my being a girl - mothers would almost often blame boys for mischief.

Those boys taught me how to fight right. When we're not against each other, we would taunt the girls. We would act as the rebels and make their "lives" miserable by taking away their toys, or "kidnapping" their "children". But it was all for fun. Besides, young as we were back then, we already knew how the world works: we were not used to, nor exposed, to fairy tales. There were always bad guys, us, and we relied on the creativity that developed with imagining stories for our little "communities."

To keep us at home when darkness falls, elders would usually tell horror stories. Boys were not supposed to be cowards and so I forced myself to act braver than girls my age. This was when I became daring. One time, we were given a night out and kids as we were, we always looked forward to fun, fun and a lot more of fun. Our house stood near an "enchanted" creek that has dried up through the years. Maybe as their way to test my loyalty, or bravery, one boy dared me to circle around our house, walking through the creek with only moonlight to guide my way. I was not gullible, nor was I stupid. I told them i would only do so, on one condition. Sensing my determination, my boys told me that as a reward, I would be able to punch one of them in the face, guilt-free. What a trade! I said "okay, I'll do it." So I did it, more excited than afraid of what lurked in the darkness. I was successful. And I was also successful at displacing a tooth off one of the boys' mouth when I punched. Haha! Awesome.

I AM MY CLASSMATES' BESTFRIEND

I started formal schooling as a visitor. I was the obedient, kind, quiet child. I obeyed because I feared that I might not be allowed to attend school again if I'd cause trouble. I was innately kind (aherm!). I was quiet because I hated baby talks. (you know, girls talk with the "mommy, mommy look" high-pitched, tiny, cutesy voice kind). But I loved school - enough for me to be promoted to the next levels without my age getting in the way. As the years passed, I became part of groups of friends - the first one being with hyperactive but equally kind and good boys - we were the local version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We loved rainy days. We would run home with arms linked, with them in their backpaks and raincoats and me in my twisted girly bag (twisted to be worn like a backpack) and my raincoat. We became quiet closely-knit as a group, though i was also part of girl groups basically because my mother would check with the girls' mothers about our behavior in class during PTA meetings. I did not want any more sermons at home, just because I was more playful than my girl friends, so I joined them sometimes. I and my boyfriends worked in group projects together (except when pairings and groupings would be done according to class list when boys' names are separated from girls' names), we were sent to contests together to represent our school, and eventually, we finished grade school together.

My secondary school experience was made colorful with girl friends. I have not been close with boys primarily because my classmates came from various towns and places. But i still learned from them, and worked alongside with them. My love for Mathematics served as a connection between me and the boys. Their tactics and strategies served as inspiration and working models for me. But I hated them just as well when their dominance got in the way. Some were arrogant enough to believe that they had the upperhand, that they were the best. But they still taught me well - they helped me generalize on the like-able qualities in boys, err, men.

It was in college when I had the opportunity to bond with boys again. I missed my grade school friends the whole high school time and so I was so happy to find out that my college block had more male population over females. But I was not an eager-beaver. Being with girls for years has taught me to be reserved and refined. Good thing the guys in my class were the outgoing, chatty type. And it also helped that we were just about twenty because we lived as a family. I saw my friends resurrected in my classmates. But it was a closer friendship - I have found brothers and even guy bestfriends! They taught me well - deliberately or not. Their thoughts (some were weird but quite logical) and their unique ways and means added to my bank of qualities to have and to hold for life.

I AM MY CRUSHES' HOPELESS ROMANTIC

Yes. I had crushes. They served as my inspiration. It was quite late for me to experience such though. Because of what I learned from boys, guys and men, I have become more selective. I was hardly impressed. I did not fall into the celebrity wars of who's the best and the most handsome and the most talented. I paid attention to more realistic people. My regard for the apple(s) of my eyes usually lasts long (uh-oh! thinks of over a decade, that's how long it goes). Though all of them were good-looking, what attracted me was more than skin-deep. I hailed those with extraordinary achievements (the levelling is relative, it's my point of view), those with unique characteristics and/or ideologies (not necessarily the nerd-weirdo types though), those who were smart, and those with a kind heart (all of them possessed one). I did not have to officially live with them day by day to be inspired. Knowing, working and being with them for a time or two was more than enough to make me happy.

My boyfriends (of the past) had those qualifications. But they only differed with the rest in terms of length of stay hehe! But they left me with life lessons just the same. They powered up my hidden talents, they made me experience some magic unknown before. The little things I have learned from them has been integrated into my now-habits. They completed me for a time, and though getting over them and moving on has been quite a feat, I am still thankful that they have become a part of my history.

I AM A MOB MAGNET

I have been a victim of mobs for a few times already. I have been held up, my cell phone taken away. I have been prey to mobs of 6 though they were not successful unlike the very first one. I have seen how they work, and though it may sound weird, I am impressed by their "strategies" sometimes. I told my friends that maybe another chance encounter with them will bring out the superpowers I might have, hiding deep within my veins. Well, bad peole as they may seem, I still believe they'll eventually see where they're leading their lives to. And pretty soon, i am sure they'll seek goodness once again. As my mother put it the last time I was almost victimized, it's just because of poverty that they have turned into the evils of society. And so while they're at it now, I better learn from them - to be smarter, wiser, more agile, more hopeful that next time will be another unsuccessful and more faithful that they'll eventually become free of the devil's snare.