(This is in response the many questions about the origin of my email address, when identity crisis during puberty as an answer does not suffice ;-)
I was in high school when I started having my own set of friends...my own set of imaginary friends. The very first ones had the same qualities/ characteristics with me. I was innately smile-y/ cheerful so when I was thinking of names for my "friends" I chose Smile. But it was so obvious in the sense that no one would ever be named like that...it would make my friend less real. I trie dtinkering with the name...until finally, I got Silem, my alter ego...and Melis - a friend who represents the lady in me. Melis embodied the Ania who is mature, demure, so lady-like. I was afraid of growing up before. I was afraid of being responsible even for my own self. I was afraid of being matured. I loved being a child that is why I'm hodling to being young-at-heart until now...enjoying a care-free life. There were times however when I was forced to act and think and move and decide maturely so I summon Melis to stay with me and show me how to get through those "rough" times.
With my survival kit (in a backpack containing a flashlight, some chips, a pen and my journal), I would sneak to the nearby beach during my younger years to be with my friends. I talked to them...but nt orally though...I kept a jornal...my friends did not respond in writing...I just knew their thoughts, their feelings. The more I wrote on my journal, the more imaginary friends I got. During those moments of being alone, I started sppreciating music, songs, sound in general. They motivated me to write...they helped me in effortlessly creating my friends...(but where's Jamie here?) I used Jamie though she is not among my i-friends because I was inspired by her (Jamie Rivera's) songs before. I loved her voice and her music...well, that was before i met her in person...everything chas changed, even with my i-friends...she failed me...and my busy-ness searated me from my regular beach visits, even from my regular journal writing which was my only venue of meeting up with my i-friends...but i cannot change my email add anymre...it is good to last.
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